SEEKING SIMPLICITY

PARTY TIME! (UGH)

I want to talk about the dreaded goodie bag a little bit. I may be overreacting, but in my opinion these things just simply have to go. They are little lovingly-packaged symbols of all the excessive, wasteful, pollution-creating, and landfill jamming practices that we all participate in (or at least tolerate) and which we should work towards eliminating. We really don't have to buy any of this stuff, so why do we do it?

Habits are certainly hard to break, especially when they come tied up with other pressures like wanting to have happy kids, and make a memorable and great birthday.  And my post here should  also acknowledge the pressure most of us feel (or think we do) to outdo each other, or to at least outdo our own previous efforts.  That pressure, which is largely self-imposed, just leads not only to an ever-increasing spiral of expense and waste, but also leads to kids who don't appreciate the little things, and just expect more. (MORE MORE!) So, in fact there's another whole discussion to be had about how overinflated our idea of what a 'good-enough' birthday party is...but that's for another time. For me, just looking at getting rid of the goodie bag habit is a start towards cutting back on all the little things (that add up) that we do NOT need, but still buy. If each and every one of us just said no to buying this kind of thing, imagine the savings! Imagine the reduction in trash and junk and industrial waste, fuel consumption, etc. It's ONE small thing that just simply can go, and nobody would miss it. It wouldn't even make much of a difference to how much your child enjoyed his or her party. Most of the time, really, the kids could not care less whether or not they get this stuff. In fact, the only time they care about this stuff is when they get it and then it immediately breaks. Otherwise, I don't think it would even register if there was no goodie bag. And even if it does register...so what? Aren't we simply spoiling them? Maybe they should learn that we simply do NOT NEED everything that we 'want'.

Does your child you need another one of these?

No, they do not.  You know those ear pieces are coming off in five seconds, right?

Do you need any more of this around to leak in your handbag and not work anyway?

Probably not.

Is there even a remote chance that you must have another one of these things?

Doubtful.

And finally, what possible use has ANYONE ever had for this?

I am TELLING you right now, it's never going to work, and then it will break immediately. You will lose the ball, and step on it in the middle of the night.

A friend recently posted something about birthday parties and goodie bags, and how much he was dreading the end-of-weekend collection of breakable junk that would be yielded by having two young kids with more than one party each to attend that weekend. I genuinely felt his pain, as he was expecting to be sorting through shards of disappointingly broken 'toys' (and similarly shattered hopes) by Sunday night...and no doubt planning when he could surreptitiously chuck them out. This got me to thinking about this habit we have, and wondering why we all put up with it. As my friend pointed out - what's the underlying idea? Is it a consolation prize for your kids since it's....not THEIR birthday? What, didn't they have enough fun eating pizza and cake and jumping in the bouncy castle for three hours? What is the deal? The goodie bag is one of those things that makes having a kids party, at least for me, less fun. For that matter, it's one of those things that makes GOING to a kids party somewhat less fun. 


If you want to give me one of THESE goodie bags, ok...but otherwise...no thanks. 

My suggestion, and one which I think actually kills two birds with one stone, is this: when planning the party, if you really feel compelled to send the kids home with 'something' - try to make it at least something that is, in itself, of lasting value and/or related to the party event.  For the same amount of money that you would spend on all the little stuff, and the bags, and the ribbon to tie it....you can buy something real to give out. Or, even better, give nothing. Send them out the door with a balloon and a wave and a 'thanks for coming!". 

Here are a few ideas, things we've done in the past, which all worked well and didn't cost any more than it would have to fill up a bunch of goodie bags. 

Olivia had a party at the house, the 'activity' was a 'make your own tee shirt'. I bought some inexpensive tees from one of the MANY places on line that sell them, ironed on the names of the kids attending in advance of the party (sports style, on the back), and let them paint and draw on the fronts with laundry marker pens. They enjoyed doing it while at the party, and took home their shirts as a 'gift'. I saw some of those kids wearing those shirts for literally years afterwards. This took some time to get the shirts and put on the names, but did not cost more over all than buying both 'activity supplies' and goodie bags.

Olivia another year had a 'sundaes party'. Instead of a cake - we had all kind of ice cream and toppings. The kids each received a glass old-fashioned sundae bowl and made their own concoction to enjoy. They took home their bowls if they wanted them. Neighbors tell me that they still enjoy having ice cream out of the 'special ice cream' bowls. 

The year Olivia had a party at a playhouse, where the kids saw and participated in a retelling of "The Frog Prince" - each child received an inexpensive Scholastic paperback edition of that fairy tale.
And another year it was a sketch book, something everyone can use and while it's certainly true that it may have been unnecessary to give it, it was something I believe is useful to have.

I will try to keep up this tradition with Theo's parties, since he's now in the age group that will be having and going to parties where the goodie bag tradition is in full force. Olivia is at least kind of over that phase, and the much mellower 'two kids to the movies', or 'couple of friends sleep over' is so much less stressful to plan.

This year, the friends at Theo's party at the house each received a plastic Yamaha recorder. A real one. The kind you can actually make music on. Really didn't cost more than a goodie bag would have. You'd be amazed. I think I actually saved money! (A joke...)

And, full confession here, I also did make goodie bags to give out at Theo's preschool this year. I did. 

I did it because other parents had done the same, and it was his first birthday party at a 'school', and he wanted to do what the other kids had done. And, because about half of the kids were also (though invited) unable to make it to his party - I really wanted Theo to feel like he was sharing his special day with everyone. So, in go the cupcakes...and in went the goodie bags. However, I have to say I regret it, and I've vowed to never do it again. What was in the bags? Crayola metallic colored crayons, stretchy iridescent lizards that stick to the wall, a punching-bag balloon, and a small watercolor tablet. It was at least arguable that the stuff inside had some 'fun-value' and probably would not break immediately. However, it was all totally excessive, and I know that. I promise, I won't do it again. The cupcakes should have been enough.

But that's the point, it's really hard to break out of this habit - we feel pressure to do it and the idea of providing anything less than (our idea of) a perfect party or birthday for our kids just seems....hard to imagine. But I truly think that we can all agree that if everyone made an effort to shift away from the kinds of things we buy...pretty much knowing it's crap....then we can change the expectation and maybe even eventually start scaling back on all the excess.  We should try.  I will. 

I won't lie though, these things are really pretty great:

 

But that doesn't mean we NEED THEM.